The Chains of Comparison

“But let each one examine his own work and then he will have rejoicing in himself alone, and not in another. For each one shall bear his own load". Galatians 6:4-5 NIV

Did you ever experience a time when you felt that no matter what you do it’s just not enough or you feel you are always falling short? You can never seem to measure up to God’s standards but everyone around you seems to be excelling at it.

 Wherever we look, someone is always more beautiful/handsome, richer, smarter, has a cleaner home, better behaved kids, is an amazing cook and to me, the worst one, they’re closer to God/have a better relationship with God than you do. And no matter how hard you try to convince yourself God loves you for who you are and your relationship with God is fine, it still causes a lot of pain, self-doubt, and emptiness. Someone else’s faith life seems light years ahead of yours.

We know that each person’s journey and connection with God is deeply personal and unique. What might work for one person in their spiritual journey may not be the same or work for you. Each person has their own individual walk with God. Again, as believers we know this. Then why is it a struggle? It becomes a struggle when you look at someone and think “OMG, they spend 3 hours a day in prayer, they can recite scripture from at least 37 books in the Bible, they read their Bible 2 hours a day….” I’ll stop there; I have a thousand examples. Ideally, you could look to that person and strive to be like them, or you could let yourself feel discouraged by looking at them and think God doesn’t love you as much (although that is never the case regardless of what we think, and we know this, we just forget it a lot!)

It's easy to feel everyone around you is perfect and you are the lowest hanging fruit on the branch. Especially in a world that tells us our worth lies in our accomplishments or how hard we work or how “Christian” we are. When you get stressed and want to know EXACTLY what you need to do to fix the “they’re closer to God than me” situation and hear, no matter how well meaning, to “study the Bible more, pray more, spend more time with God etc.” and you fail to do ANY of that on any given day or days, frustration mounts very quickly. Sometimes anger sets in, sometimes depression and you think you’ll never get there, at least where “that” person is. You believe you have to meet certain criteria for God to love you more or at least as much as He loves everyone else.

The simple truth is no matter how hard you work at it our Father loves us unconditionally. We don’t have to do ANYTHING to earn His love. We already have it. We don’t have to do things because we want God to love us more; we do them because WE want to love God more. It’s better to do the things that you can with love than to try to do more than you’re able. That is the quickest way to become overwhelmed and discouraged. Let’s be 100% real. We’ve all compared ourselves to “that person” come up short and it’s exhausting and futile. God wants us to come to Him as we are. It doesn’t matter if you’re exhausted, angry, down etc. If that’s you on Monday or maybe the rest of the week too, that’s ok! It’s you being you, really you. Nobody else. If my journey is different from yours, it’s supposed to be because it’s MY journey. It’s the journey God has for ME. And your journey is YOURS! The absolute beauty of that is God is with each one of us on that path! And no matter where you are on it, that’s where He will meet you.

Let’s face it, there is always going to be someone who can quote scripture effortlessly, name every person in the Bible, always have the right words to say and (at least to you) have more gifts than you could ever dream of having. Also, keep in mind sometimes things look all shiny on the outside, but they cover up a lot of rust on the inside. There is not one perfect person on this planet. We ALL fall short. Perfection is simply unattainable here. I think of Mother Theresa as my example of someone I look at and think “She was perfect.” I will never, ever achieve what she has done in her life. Yet, even Mother Theresa, with all her amazing faith and works wouldn’t get to heaven without God’s grace.

I guess here’s my point. We  HAVE God’s grace. His grace is free and is an undeserved gift offered to all humanity. It’s not something earned but it’s received through our faith in Jesus. Not through how many scriptures I can recite. (Although it would be nice to know a few more by heart!)  Each one of us is on our own personal walk with God. Some of us may be further ahead than others, true, but it doesn’t matter as long as we’re ON the path!

Franklin D. Roosevelt said “Comparison is the thief of joy. Don’t compare yourself to others. You have no idea what their journey is all about.”  He then very wisely added “A flower does not think of competing with the flower next to it. It just blooms.”

PRAYER

Dear Lord,

 I ask that You replace comparison with contentment, competition with compassion, and judgement with love. Let me grow in understanding that every person is on their own unique path, and that their success does not diminish my own. Help me to celebrate others and find joy in their achievements without feeling less than. I pray for peace in my heart and the strength to walk confidently in the life You’ve designed for me.

Amen