Soul Weary

“For I have given rest to the weary and joy to the sorrowing”. Jeremiah 31:25 NIV

 “Come to me, all of you who are weary and carry heavy burdens, and I will give you rest”. Matthew 11:28 NIV

There are some days, even weeks that we’ve all felt are not going as we’d like them to. I found myself in such a place recently. On that particular day, I wasn’t doing anything earth shattering, I was just vacuuming. In the middle of the carpet, I just stopped and in my mind “I’m soul weary” appeared. I’m not sure where that came from, I’d never thought that before. Physically tired, mentally tired, stressed we can all check those boxes probably a million times. But this feeling? I needed to understand this. Could this be the reason I’d been feeling exhausted all the time, unfocused, disconnected, sad and discontented with everything around me?

It's safe to say we’ve all been worn out, exhausted, beat, drained etc. When we think of fatigue it’s usually physical or mental. But there is a third type often overlooked. Spiritual weariness. It really is a condition. Feelings of apathy; “Why should I care, what’s the point?” and being withdrawn “Leave me alone, everybody!” or totally shutting down “I REALLYdon’t care, what IS the point, leave me ALONE!”  It’s more than just the kind of tiredness where getting a good night’s sleep or going for a walk solves the problem. It’s a deep restlessness that is extremely hard to shake.

 Researching the subject, I’ve learned that it’s normal for Christians to grow weary and depleted. The Bible addresses this many times. If the main goal of living a Christian life is to always feel upbeat, positive, and refreshed 24/7 we’d be discouraged by noon. Being soul-weary/spiritually weary is a deep feeling of exhaustion that settles into our souls after struggles, dealing with discouragement or in trying to live on our own strength. Living with our own imperfections and spiritually striving all the time to be what WE think God wants us to be. Do we set a higher bar for ourselves than He even does? And when we don’t hit that bar suddenly, we’re trudging through life wondering what the point of it all is with little joy and no strength left. Like running in place. You’re exerting and sweating and exhausted and you’ve gone nowhere.

Trying to carry the whole load alone and rely on your own strength is a big contributor to feeling soul weary. We forget God NEVER intended us to do this life alone. His strength is infinite while ours is very finite. We were never expected to run on our own power, nor are we called to walk through the storms of this life on our own, yet we do it over and over.

The reality of it is everyone experiences weariness. Even the strongest get tired physically, mentally, and spiritually. Even Jesus was asleep on the boat when the storm came. He was exhausted! Weariness is not being weak, it’s being human. How often do we forget the fact that we’re human? And when we forget that and think we can do everything at once, all the time and manage it all with ease and grace by ourselves and we fail, we get angry at ourselves because we don’t measure up to the expectations, WE put on ourselves. We do that. God doesn’t do that.

 God invites us to rest, and I don’t think He meant that to mean going on a cruise or to the beach or taking a long hot bubble bath, not that those are dreadful things. No, He calls us to rest in Him to cast our burdens on Him, just like the scripture at the beginning of this devotional says. Spending time with Him. Leaning into Him. After all, God rested on the 7^th day of creation. Leviticus 25 tells us that every 7 years the ground was allowed to rest from planting and harvesting. Do we really know how to rest in God? The minute I sit down to “rest,” my mind is immediately going in a million directions. I think I’m wasting time by “resting.”  Something, somewhere always needs to get done, right? Resting turns into guilt because I should be doing something. Like Martha, who the Lord reminded me very clearly, I was emulating one day at service. He actually said that to me. I heard Him that day but forgot it the next!

When feeling soul weary, it’s important to try and identify what’s causing it. Make a list and be very honest with God. If you’re angry with Him, tell Him why. If you’re disappointed in unanswered prayers, tell Him. Pour out your grievances, hurts, everything. Do you think He’ll get angry, and walk away with His hands covering His ears? Has He ever? On the contrary I think He’ll be overjoyed that you are taking time and talking to Him. Then be still and listen. He will answer.

1 John 5:14-15 NLT, “And we are confident that He hears us whenever we ask for anything that pleases Him. And since we know that He hears our requests, we also know that He will give us what we ask for”.   Let us ask Him to realign our hearts with His. To renew our souls and refresh our hearts and minds. To take away the weariness that can plague us and help us move forward restoring our souls with peace, joy, and restoration.

Prayer for this week:

Dear Father,

You know better than I that somedays my soul is weary and burdened. Please lift me up so that I may experience the rest and peace that is only found in You. Let me soar on wings like eagles so that I may run, not grow weary, walk, and not faint. Refresh my soul Lord and renew my strength. I ask this in Your Holy Name,

Amen