S.O.S. I Need Help, Maybe

“Oh my people, trust in Him at all times. Pour out your heart to Him, for God is our refuge”. Psalm 62:8 NLT

I started this devotional 4 times with 4 different topics.  I’m sure I will go back to revisit them at some point. They become old friends. But however far I got into each of them something just wasn’t right. Remember how I said in my first devotional there are so many times I just sit staring at a blank paper, or in this case a blank word document and……nothing. That’s where I found myself this time.

Me: “S.O.S. Lord, I’m floundering badly”!

God: “Silly child, would I ever leave you floundering? Quiet your mind and open your heart and listen to Me”.

Me: “Forgive me Father, what’s wrong with me that I can’t seem to remember You have never left my side? Oh, and P.S., why do you put up with me”?

I think that’s a fair question. Why does He put up with me or any of us when we assume we can do anything without His help?

 I’ve always been an independent person. My three favorite phrases are, “No problem, I can do it”, “Nope, I’m fine, I got this”,  “Don’t worry about it, I’ll figure it out”.  A lot of “I’s” in there. I can’t pick a favorite; I’ve used them all repeatedly throughout my life. And the funny thing is for most of my life I’ve taken the credit for doing it all. It didn’t matter if it turned out good or bad, I was the captain of my own ship. If I was feeling overwhelmed, anxious, and struggling, I would turn to people and things that seemed dependable, (God usually wasn’t on that list) listen, and do what I wanted to do anyway. It took many years, but I have finally come to the truth, at least for me. I don’t want to do it alone. I never wanted to do it alone. I was tired of searching for answers, figuring it out and saying “I got it” because I DIDN’T have it, and I never had! I’m exhausted thinking of all those times.

I also wish that I had realized this years ago but perhaps that was just not God’s plan and path for me, I had to learn this way. What many years of frustration, anxiety, anger, and tears have taught me is this, it takes humility and trust to lean on God for help. Humility is not an easy thing we clothe ourselves in and trust…that’s a whole other devotional! When we realize and admit we cannot do this life on our own, that’s when we can (hopefully) open the door, and let Him step in. We acknowledge that His wisdom and strength surpass our own. We realize that He is our infinite source of comfort, guidance, and strength. There has never been or will ever be a problem too great or too small for our Father to handle. I’ve never met a problem I considered “small.”  He is not just a helper; He is the Creator of Heaven and Earth! Our God, who created the universe is more than able to help us with allour problems, IF, and that’s a big if, we just go to Him and stop fighting Him for control. How beautiful is it that God is ever-present, always ready to help us no matter what we are facing?

As to why He puts up with me or any of us? Because His love is that immense and totally unconditional. His love is never dependent upon our actions. (Thank you, Jesus!) He knows each of us very personally. Even though we fight for control, His patience allows us to learn and mature through our choices. That’s the beautiful gift of free will He has given each of us. He allows us to make choices, good or bad.

I have found a level of peace that I don’t think I had before. Please don’t take that to mean I’m floating on my pink cloud all day with not a care in the world.  I still struggle, a lot. But I’ve learned as my life has gone on to recognize that God has never, ever (even though it felt like it) left me on my own. I guess being “old” as my grandson Theo reminds me I am (he smiles when he says it!) has given me the ability to look out over many years of living. And I can see clearer now than ever before, that despite me, He was always right next to me. He is right by my side as I type this, He is right by your side as you read this, at least I hope you’re reading this!

In my mind I see Him, sitting on His throne. He has that bemused look on His face that parents get when their child is insisting, they can do it alone, they need no help. I see Him smiling and saying “Ok, do it yourself, but if you need help, I’m right here”.  And when that child (we) fall flat on our face and are crying and hurt and confused and don’t understand why it didn’t work out the way we wanted it to, it’s His arms that gently pick us up, He dries our tears and whispers “I never meant for you to do any of this on your own.  If you let Me, you will never be alone nor will you have to carry all these burdens by yourself”.   That’s the God we serve!

Prayer for this week:

Dear Father,

Sometimes we forget we don’t have all the answers, but we think we do. In those moments remind us that all our help comes from You, Lord. Help us to remember when our pride and ego take center stage that You did not make us to do this life by ourselves but with You. When we walk with You and hear You, we have peace. May we always hear Your voice above the chaos of our minds.

Amen